5'7.5" around 94 pounds.





































Please, please, offer me some constructive criticism! :]
Think thin, stay strong!
xxxxx

So, i've deigned to weigh myself for a while.
I honestly have no idea.
But there's this guy... :]
We've known each other for three years;
since we don't go to the same school,
we'd talk to each other online every once in a while,
an occasional phone call here & there.
But I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago,
& I moved.
I just happened to move half a mile away from the guy.
So we've started hanging out,
& now hooking up.
I mentioned my struggles, past & present, with eating disorders.
it was cool, because he was totally cool.
He was confused though, on one part:
"Why is it that the skinny chicks are the anorexic ones? Shouldn't it be the fat chicks?"
[he's a very blunt, unethical, honest person- i love it.]
I told him that there's no fat anorexic chicks, BECAUSE they're anorexic. xD
Hahaha. A joke.
But he's a very exercis-y sort of person,
& so we go on hella long walks.
In fact, Sunday we walked over 13 miles in a few hours.
He's amazing, & totally helping my exercising.

Oh, & so, I snorted some Adderall today
[the first time snorting, for me].
It didn't hurt, though for others it does.
I guess I have tough nostrils. :]
The only sucky thing about it was that it drips in the back of your throat & tastes HORRID.
But it got me 'there' quicker and better than ever.
Alll i needed was coffee-
it'll get me through the day just fine! :]

Well, 95.
Just ciggs and a sip of mocha for me today.
Feeling better,
but I still blow.
Fuck it.
Fuck food.
Fuck 'real women have curves'.
Fuck everything.
Hunger reminds you you're real.

You know, i'm confused here.
I thought I was a woman. Or at least a girl.
I thought you basically had to have a uterus to be considered a woman.
but i guess fucking not!
i am sick and fucking tired of hearing 'this is what real women look like'.
magazines, tv, advertisements.
i'm not a big fatty? i eat healthy, i take care of myself? i have willpower where they most certainly do not?
and because i am stronger, smarter, & healthier, i am not a 'real woman'?
shut the hell up?
we come in all shapes and sizes!
i weight 102 and i'm 5'7.5" and I AM A REAL WOMAN!!!!!

Gahh.
103.
5'7.5"
205 cals.
Not dropping anything.
boyfriend is mad at me for some reason.
mom keeps starting arguements with me.
"are you losing weight?"
"you're too skinny."
hahahahaha.
the only perfect skinny person
is a dead skinny person.
they just want me to be fat, like them.